Making Your Life Easier

I’ll be honest…

Posted by on Sep 16, 2011 in Lisa's Corner, Personal | 31 comments

I’ll Be Honest

I’ll be honest…two weeks ago I had heard the word Autism, yet never paid attention to how it affected other people because it didn’t affect me.

I’ll be honest up…until two weeks ago I have also heard the word Asperger’s and had always thought what a crazy word Asperger’s was and why they would give a diagnosis that name and then  have someone say that word out loud?  Don’t they hear how the first part of the word sounds?

I’ll be honest… two weeks ago those words change my life, my son’s life and my family’s life.  My beautiful son that has reading skills off the charts, computer skills that leave me in the dust and a vocabulary that leaves adults searching for dictionaries was recently given a diagnosis of High Functioning Autism also known as Asperger’s.

I’ll be honest…My son, who is a little bit quirky, has always been a troubled sleeper, a heavy duty talker, and often what we call the third parent in our family.  Because of Aspergers he follows the rules like he is in the military and expects his siblings to comply. Now he has a label that points him out as a little bit different.

I’ll be honest…we already knew our son was a little bit quirky, so full of love, and full of individuality.  A diagnosis does not change him in our family; it will change him in the eyes of others.  We will need to work at changing how people think around us to accept him for who he is my son, an 11 year old with High Function Autism.

I’ll be honest…this task will not be easy, he is in middle school.  Entering into the major judgment arena where everyone must fit in and those that don’t, are cast aside.  My son works so hard to fit in at school that when he arrives home, he needs to unravel for a while before he can relax and feel safe.

I’ll be honest…I have been thrown into a fast paced course to learn everything I can about Aspergers and expect I will have my expertise hat on by the end of the year.  If I want to become a positive advocate for my son then I need to come prepared with information.

I’ll be honest, my heart does hurt and I feel sad about the diagnosis.  Not ashamed, I am proud of my son, and I know he will do fine.  I am worried about how he will be treated in school through middle school and high school.  I do not want my son to take on having children hurt him because they don’t understand that he is differently-able not specially- abled.

I’ll be honest, I am terrified of what the future will bring but know that I must slow down and take each day one at a time. I must learn to lean on others for support, seek encouragement from family and friends.  Most importantly I need to make sure that I take time for myself.

I’ll be honest… two weeks ago I didn’t know the word Aspergers would affect my life, but I do now and I will do all I can to support my child through this process.

I’ll be honest – I am a mother to a son with High Functioning Autism/Aspergers and I wouldn’t change my son in anyway.  I love him, his originality and how special he is to me and our family.



writers' week

  • The City Slacker

    This almost made me cry but in the end I was smiling…beautifully written! Good luck to you both.

    • admin

      Thank you! I have been carrying this emotion around for the last two weeks that it felt good to put it down in print and release some of my feelings. Wasn’t sure I should but now that I did I am happy :)

  • Neeraj Sachdeva

    Hey, I have to agree with the City Slacker, very touching post. I wish you good luck with everything from hereon. Incidentally, I did not know of Autism until I read a book called ‘The curious incident of dog in the night time’, unique title and a unique (fiction) book. It might make for some nice light reading!

  • admin

    Thank you Neeraj -

    I will look for the book and we appreciate the good luck sent our way.

    Best wishes,


  • BrigiteZ

    Thank you for your words. I know what a brave thing it was to be so open in sharing them and you did so beautifully. Your son is blessed to have a mama that loves him like you do!

    • admin

      Thank you for such kindness Brigite, this writing contest was the best thing for me this week! It helped me to put some thoughts to paper instead of carrying them around. I am so lucky to have such a great son not too mention my two other beautiful children and husband that have been amazing in this process. I am thinking about letting him read this so he can see how I feel.

  • Erin @ Momfog

    I appreciate your honesty. An Autism/Asperger’s diagnosis is not an easy thing to hear and the things you thought and felt are a normal response. I’m glad you shared them. Other moms who get the news are happy to know they aren’t alone in thinking the same things. Best of luck to you!

    • admin

      Thank you Erin – you are right it wasn’t easy to hear and at first I was kind of dumbfounded. I agree it helps to know there are other mothers to lean on for support. Thank you for reaching out!

  • Jackie

    This is a beautiful post. I know your sad and worried, but you wil get through this.

  • admin

    Thank you Jackie – you are right I will get through this :)

  • Amanda

    The book that Neeraj recommended is awesome. You have to read it!

    When I did my student teaching I worked with a child who had Asbergers. He was brilliant and always amazed me every second of the day with all of his facts and information. He was just an amazing person. He loved rules, too.
    He was also a challenge because I had to work triple time to keep him learning. It was the best experience of my life and I learned so much from him. He is so smart he will probably be a millionaire or something.

    Thanks for sharing. I’m sure you will all be learning from each other every day. I guess that is what all moms do. Maybe that is why we have children. :)

    And I love the Outer Banks. We used to go their for our family vacations when I was little. It is one of my favorite places.

    • admin

      Amanda – I plan on looking up the book “The curious incident of dog in the night time” tonight. I appreciate your honesty, insight and your experience with a child that had aspergers. You are correct they are smart, or they appear to be smart. Usually really good at retaining information but a lot of children have been known to have above average intelligence

      I agree learning is what Mom’s do – and I will be learning a lot regarding this from here on out.

      Yes, the Outer Banks is beautiful, we used to vacation here before we moved here. Today, it is not so pretty – it is a grey and rainy day! Thank you for your comments.